I've made a dreamwidth account for any interested in adding me over there. I'll crosspost, though, so it's not like you'll miss anything if you don't
.
I lost internet two days before Christmas and just got it back today. It was Internet or food (and by food, I largely mean cookies and I'm tired of cookies).

I received quite a few presents, including the limited edition Bioshock 2, the glowing EVE hypo, a new Zune, a bunch of Portal 2 things (including a companion cube cookie jar and a Wheatley flashlight) and a ton of makeup and clothes. I also get to choose between a new gun, and a tablet; I'm leaning heavily towards the gun simply because I need a good one to carry on my person. My sister and brother each got quite a few lovely presents as well, and it's like this every year. I tell you, my father is the Gift Whisperer.

Also. I got pink bunny footies. My feet look like bunny heads, with floppy ears. I'm fucking adorable.

I spent my time without internet playing Skyrim (hnnn ilu Cicero), and Fatal Frame IV. I should finish Asscreed, but Skyrim calls; it can wait until I get tired of questing and killing bandits and sneaking (hah, as if).

I haven't worked out in a week, and am now feeling fat. I'm not, mind you, but I'm bloated and whiny and will say so even though it's untrue. Have I mentioned I hate cookies?

I seemed to have missed a ton in terms of LJ and it's goatly drama. A good chunk of games--including CFUD--are moving to DW. It's kind of... I dunno, I approve? I'm tired of the bullshit LJ presents, anyway. UnderworldWars is voting, and I'm praying the vote goes towards a move. I think it's good change, and DW seems much more considerate towards their customers than LJ is.

I'm gonna hold off on coming back from my hiatus in UWW until the 1st. I still need to catch up with all my shit, and deal with Christmas aftermath.

My anxiety has been acting up, and making it hard to sleep even after taking a sleeping pill. I thought I knew what was causing it, but I was wrong.

In more awesome news, Alan Wake: American Nightmare is looking pretty pimp. Alan Wake has a snazzy flannel. I like his snazzy flannel.

spent all day in the woods, taking pretty pictures whilst the men-folk gut the deer.  it was a bad idea to go, no matter how many pretty (and disgusting) pictures i got from it.  my fever came back, and i came home exhausted; didn't even get to eat any "ohmygod, my cousin is 4" cake.  that's bullshit.  because my aunt made him a cars cake with that red car and tow-mater; very awesome cake making skills indeed.

i'm having anxiety issues out the ass for no apparent reason, and am getting shaky and confused.  maybe it's just the illness bothering me.  maybe i'll watch tv.  i don't have the brain for computer right now, anyway.

also.  the cat was put down, and nobody thought to tell him.  it's kind of upsetting.

I fucking love Assassin's Creed.  And even though Revelations makes me want to sob (ohgod, why why why), I love it.  Especially the multiplayer.  And the music, ohmygod, I've got such a love for the music of the game.

And 16.  Just.  Oh.  My. God.

Also.  If this censorship bill gets passed, I swear to God something will happen.

skkkkeeeerrrmmmmmmmmm tonight.  skerm so excited.  skkeeerrrmmm.

and by skerm, I mean skyrim, but I like saying skerm.

skerm, y'all.

Also, thinking of apping Neo-Queen to UWW.  Cause I'm kind of in love with the game.  I didn't think anything would replace Luceti, but...

skerm.

God, I wish my state went back to the way we used to deal with the time change: we just didn't fucking change.  Yeah.  We were so pimp we didn't need to change our time.  While most everyone scurried to turn back the clocks, we just went on our merry way and let our clocks be.  Now we don't.

/sobs

I miss the good old days.

Kind of spent 200+ on games yesterday, most of them preorders.  I almost feel as if that was a bit excessive.

But.

It's gonna be worth it.

I had the worst nightmare last night. It was just... insane, and it was frighteningly similar to other dreams I've had.

My mother was getting married, and I was planning the wedding. Everything was going perfectly. The wedding was going to take place at my old high school because of how large it was, and I was picking up the bride and groom (and another person who is escaping my memory). I cried as we were heading to the school, and I was blamed for trying to steal spotlight from my mother, and for not being happy for her; I tried to explain, rather desperately, that I was just happy that I got to be so involved.

We arrive at the school, and there are people here and there. A few I recognize, and a few I don't. Everyone was dressed beautifully, and the decorations were stunning. Without any warning, people started panicking and piling out of the school. There were screams, and blood. A firetruck arrives, the emergency lights are what I remember the most vividly, and the firemen enter the school.

I head in after, determined to find out what was going on. I encounter the chief, a medium built black man, and demand to know. He ignores. I'm furious, so I follow after him. It's then a strange man, hobbling, and reaching his arms out enters the hallway we're in. The chief looks at him, and then me, and says,"There isn't going to be a wedding."

It's then I realize that more than half the guests are dead, and people are still screaming and bleeding and panicking. The chief leaves the hallway through a side door, and the strange, hobbling man turns towards me. I have no idea what took me so long to realize that this man, all bloodied and torn, wasn't alive. I race from the school, having to go a long, and roundabout way to find the exit due to the amassing dead. There isn't time to kill them because I have to get back to my mother.

I make it out there, and her fiance is dead. She's crying. Everyone is crying. I'm flooded with guilt because this was my fault; I was supposed to pick them up sooner for the wedding, but I think I got sidetracked. If they had gotten here sooner, they might have had a chance to be married before this mess happened.

More happened, but I can't remember the rest. Only bits and pieces. I just know it was absolutely horrible, and even after I got up I couldn't shake the guilt and terror from me. The dream made sense, and didn't run off on some odd tangent like most of my nightmares do, and I just... I'm still reeling.

We're putting up our Christmas Tree right now, and listening to Christmas music; it's brought a nice feeling.

I love the Christmas feeling.

I have quite literally been on the computer less than 5 hours the last--I dunno--five days? It's not a bad thing, I suppose, but RP requires a little more time pumped into it than I've been able to provide. Luckily, things will settle by tomorrow.

The last episode of Psych was quite possibly the best in Psych history. JSYK.

Uhm. I've been super busy. Mom has been suffering from severe depression, but it's getting better. Dog has fleas. Makes me feel like I have fleas. Saturday got smashed. Sunday spent hungover. Monday couldn't move too much. Today is much better. Tomorrow will be even better.

The saddest, and most beautiful thing in the world is when a mother gives up her own life so that her child may live.

There is just not enough time in the day.

Not feeling RP at the moment.  Not anyone's fault, obviously.  I'm just in one of those lazy ass moods where the only thing I want to do is veg.  Did that yesterday, too.  I wish there was a way to motivate myself because I notice I don't do well if I just kick myself into doing it--it all comes out half-assed and much much much slower than I usually.  ohgod, i'm so slow compared to others.  /LE SIGH

This weekend we'll be doing a Misa Amane photoshoot.  It's going to have a story to it, so that it isn't just a bunch of *SEXY POSE* *CUTE POSE* *SEXY POSE BY A COLUMN*  *LAZY POSE ON  BED* kind of shit, because I hate that.  I hope it turns out well.  We'll be doing it at my grandparents house because the main bedroom is gorgeous, and elegant, and the attached bathroom has a kind of modern feel to it.  Hopefully, it'll turn out semi-decent.

Also.  It's dark and rainy.  That's probably not helping the lazy I'm feeling--Oh, it was that way yesterday, too!  I've found my cause!  BLAME THE WEATHER FOR LACK OF MOTIVATION.  oh, but the weather is so nice.  it should be this way forever.  or snowy.  all the snow in the world.  with more snow.  and cold.  and christmasy.

First.  Check this out.

Second.  I am so going.

Sadly, it's not going to be here until June 2012, but who the fuck cares?  Zombie obstacle course?  Really?  That's like a dream come true.  Plus, it means I have a reason to start running & working out again (I know, you need a reason to work out?  Well, duh.).  Also, it means new work out clothes.  Also also?  Zombies.

There's a new Fable book coming out!  And while it's about Ben Finn (a character I couldn't get invested in, sorry, Ben, but you're no Reaver), I'm still excited because a Gnnoommmeee is in it.  A shit-talking gnome.  I mean, come on?  The gnomes were the best part of Fable III.  A book that has one in it?  Sign me up, please.

That scary, high-pitched noise I heard did not scare me.  Nope.  I am not sitting here, in my fuzzy blanket going,"OHMYGOD, a ghost is going to get me"!

/sobs

Ghosts are scary, gais.

Firefox updated without my permis. and now I don't have ljlogin. /sobs  I forgot how tough it was without it.

Also.  I can't really use my right hand.  Dog bit it open.  It's even tough to type.  and play vidya games. 

Also. Also.  I try not to hate people that come preaching at my doorstep about their religion, but is it necessary?  I don't want to hear it.  If I wanted to be a Mormon, I would have decided on it long, long ago.  And I haven't.  >:C Is the black house, and large barking dogs not enough of a deterrent?  Do I need to put up a sign stating all the misc. things you shouldn't knock on my door for?

• religion (any & all)
• your car broke down
• you need to use my phone
• you want to sell me something
• you want to sell me something under the guise of helping others
• you need to use my bathroom
• your giving away free ac units/windows/various other household shit

I'm making a sign.  And laminating it.  If that's not enough, I'm going to get a doormat that yells,"GO AWAY" anytime someone steps on it. 

Lost my monitor for awhile yesterday, almost all day, and by the time I got it back I didn't have the time (or the brain) to play on it.

Did watch The Mentalist season premiere yesterday, and that was just fucking pimp.  I'm so happy the jury's verdict was Not Guilty, I couldn't imagine how the show would turn out with Jane in jail.  There's also something else I'm insanely overjoyed about: Jane didn't kill Red John.  I feel that the show will end the moment Red John is done for because there'd be no more direction the series could go in.

Just look at what happened to Lie To Me.  Lie To Me had no overarching storyline, and was simply episode-to-episode, so it's understandable it was canceled.  I'm going to miss it, though.  The theme song was a-maz-ing.

I hate trying to come up with a good 1st post for my characters.  It's hard to write one that isn't just,"where am I, how did I get here".  They're hard to make interesting, especially with a character like Alice.  I mean, my best bet would be to go with one that's mostly subtle panic, some tears, and not much vocal action from her, but then I'm worried it'd be too attention-whorey.

She was just released from The Dark Place, so panic would be realistic, but would it be interesting?  Fucking RP, and trying to make posts intriguing & replyable.

In other news, I'm breaking out badly.  A lot worse than I have in years.  My confidence is really taking a hit from it.  I kind of just want to hide away until they disappear.

Why are fans so uppity?  I just don't get it.